I believe in forgiveness, change, and letting go of my past. I spent my high school days being angry with all the people that hurt me. I spent many nights crying myself to sleep thinking about all the years I wasted that I can never take back, and all the people that took those years from me, I felt sorry for myself. I was angry with the woman who never treated me like the loving daughter that I tried so hard to be. I was angry for the few credits I received in school, at the teachers that would not allow me back in their classrooms, and at the students that treated me like an outcast. Worst of all I was angry with myself at the things I have done, the people that I hurt who actually did love me, and at the empty life I created for myself.
I was now 18 and out on my own, and instead of dealing with my past I decided to run from it, for an entire year I was still angry, living far away from the people that hurt me. My life was going absolutely nowhere, but I didn’t care, I kept myself from the things I really wanted because I was still resentful, I punished myself by hating life, and not allowing myself to be happy.
One morning I woke up to another empty day, but on this day I decided that I don’t want anymore empty and wasted days, so I went to college, somewhere I never thought I would end up. My education is what showed me what it feels like to care for something, and it is one of the greatest changes I have made in my life. I began to surround myself with positive people who are now my motivators. I finally allowed myself to be happy, I found things that I loved, things that full fill my life and make me question why I decided not to do this sooner. This thing I decided to do was forgive, I forgave the people that hurt me, I forgave myself for the things I have done and for the people that I hurt. I even forgave the one person I never thought I would, and moving back in with my mother was the biggest step on my path to forgiveness. I never thought I would be able to have a conversation with her, I never thought we would talk the way we do now. I believe in the power of forgiveness, I believe in the power of being able to completely change my life around, and I believe in letting go of my past. I have spent the last two years making up for all the years I wasted because of the anger I had built up. I finally learned to let my past go free, and I realize now that the life I used to live has only made me stronger, I am who I am today because of the person I once was.
