The first paragraph of chapter two was very interesting to me. I thought it was a good way to start the chapter, and made me want to keep reading. It connected very well with the topic of writing out of your comfort zone, only it was doing actions that are out of your comfort zone. I also liked how relatable it was, because I know when I read something I can relate to it keeps me interested. In the second paragraph it says, “Speak with confidence and convicition, even if you are not always sure.” To me this has always been a struggle, but I agree that it should be done. If I’m not sure about something I don’t raise my hand, or say what I’m thinking because I dont know if I’m right or not. But I agree that even if you are not right, or not sure, say it anyway. It could make for a new idea, and even another point of view. Speaking with confidence is something that I know that I need to work on. On the second page of chapter two where it starts talking about habits, I noticed that not only do I have the habits listed, but I also have certain habits when I write papers. I basically do the same thing every time, and don’t let myself think outside of the box. I don’t particularly like writing papers, but I think that if I went outside of my comfort zone and actually had fun with it I would. Obviously it’s not easy or it wouldn’t be called a “comfort” zone, but I am interested to see what my writing would be like if I did.
McGuire, Michael. “Chapter 2.” Why White Rice? Thinking Through Writing. Kendall Hunt Pub, 2010.Print.
Updates from February, 2012 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
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Jessica Konstant
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Iwona Ligeska
Mr. Swanson wrote a very interesting statement in Chapter 2 : “One of the first creative things to consider as you work your way through college is not always to believe what you read in a textbook or what your professors tell you”. This tells me that you have to be the judge of the material you read, you the student have the right to decide whether you study for the sake of a good grades or you study to get the knowledge and the experience. I am glad teachers recognized the need to engage the students in writing and deeper thinking and they even like “dangerous writing”. This is the point. Education is not only a set of rules and standards but also a chance to express yourself. You need to learn how to think creatively because this will help you to succeed in life. When I think about this class it sure makes me think deeper than I could imagine. I had to really think what is important to me and my family that I would like to change when I wrote the Activist paper. Another important aspect in this chapter is mental preparation to write a paper and prewriting. In 2.3. How to begin I found very interesting sentence:” You’ve got to have your mind in the right place and your body will follow”. I think this is the best advise, you have to be mentally ready and even anxious to put your thoughts on a paper. Your body has to focus on writing. The ideas will just flow immediately, save you time and surprise you with a good outcome.
Troy Swanson “ The machine that is replacing me is getting cheaper every day” Why White Rice? Thinking Through Writing. Kendall Hunt Publishing Company 2010 Dubuque,Iowa
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Patrycja Gola
I have always had a lot more respect for people who have the creativity to come up with new and exciting ideas as opposed to those know it alls who need the absolute best grade. An A doesn’t necessarily mean you are smart. I agree with your statement on the way a student learns, is it for grades or for the knowledge and experience, because some students do it for the grade but have no knowledge in the end.
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Shawnette Sierra
As I was towards the end of chapter two of our book, I really enjoyed reading the “Ten sure-fire ways for readers not to take you seriously.” I must admit that I have knowingly, and unknowingly, have done some of these things. I remember way back in elementary school, we were taught the “five-paragraph essay with a three-pronged thesis.” As a college student, I have found it to be difficult to break that routine, while still writing a clear, organized paper. The way we were taught makes it so simple to write a clear and organized paper, without skipping material or jumping around. Readers know what is coming, and what has already been covered. However, I do believe those type of papers are boring to read. I also agree that you should attempt to care about what you are writing. Unfortunately, in some classes you are limited to what you have to write, but I can tell in my own writing that when I am writing about something I am passionate about, it is much more interesting to read. Another fault I admit to using in my papers, and in every day speech, would be to say “in my opinion”, or “I think.” I do think adding those statements can make you sound unsure of your stance. Lastly, number four on the list says, do not quit when the paper gets difficult. I know I have done that before, and the last half of the paper was garbage. I wish I would take more time before writing to think about where I want the paper to go and what I would like the paper to say. Overall, I think this section of the chapter was very useful. It made me think about my own writing and what I can do to improve my writing overall.
McGuire, Michael. “Chapter 2.” Why White Rice? Thinking Through Writing. Kendall Hunt Pub, 2010. 30. Print. -
Andrew Brittain
When starting chapter two i was just for a moment transported back to last semester composition class and was flushed for a moment. I dont have to many fears when it comes to meeting people or discussions, but when i have to read my material to the whole class i get extremely nervous and agitated, And i must not be one of the few because public speaking is one the ten top fears most people face. I was also laughing at the fact that when people are rewarded for certain behaviors we are rewarded, so that encourages us to continue whatever behavior we are being rewarded for. Free writing as the book calls it is a great tool for me when im starting a paper but struggling to get a start on it. Just continually writing without stopping has been the reason that a lot of my papers got their intros. Clustering is a way i use when i have more of an idea of what i want to speak about. It is also a super tool when you want to get ideas that belong together into paragraph form. It provides you with an easy way to organize the points you are going to talk about. Getting out of your comfort zone is an idea that i havent really incorporated in any of my writing. But it makes sense because you know that something is interesting when it starts to make you squirm and fell uncomfortable. So that is a technique that i may use in the future. That and trying to dig into untraditional sources of info for a more complete paper. Now revisions are mt enemies because i dont know when to call it quits, i obsessively go over my narrative or story and tweak way to much, So as with anything moderation is key,
DeVillez, Dow, McGuire, and Swanson. Why White Rice. Kendall Hunt: Iowa. 2010 textbook -
Courtney Watkins
Chapter two of why the white rice was basically giving information on the college writing styles ad techniques. The chapter really focused on explaining that it is good to take risks and reach out when writing. I learned that when writing it is okay to reveal something personal about myself. A lot of the times I seem to be unsure about what I am writing about. Therefore, I should begin to speak with confidence and conviction as mentioned in this chapter. The section that was most beneficial to me was section 2.6.6 “the work of authority and finding the right balance”. This is because when I write I often loose focus on what I am writing about or I get lost within the points I try to make. I believe that is because I need to work on the structure of my writing as well as finding a balance in my work. The tips given in this chapter really helped me. I understand now that ownership can give m writings stability. This means that if I start to take control of my writing and giving personal information can give my work more stability. I also, learned that free-writing is a major part of the beginning of writing a paper. I always seem to get stuck when I free-write but with the help of this section of chapter two I learned that there are techniques to free-writing that can help me become better at it. I really like how there was a full image example of a mind map provided. This gave me an idea of how to create one of my own. Overall, this was a very good chapter that provides good information on how to become a better writer.
McGuire, Michael. “Chapter 2.” Why White Rice? Thinking Through Writing. Kendall Hunt Pub, 2010.30.Print -
Patrycja Gola
Chapter 2 was a great topic to read on and I’m glad it was written because it is something I completely agree with. Grades are way to overrated, I have met some not so smart people who got good grades their whole lives. I have also met many smart people who have had some of the worst grades. Grades should not be the deciding factor of who we are and how smart we are. I believe that creativity and the ability to come up with original ideas can get someone much further in life than just a good grade. The way our school system works is messed up, teachers seemed to always like the students who got the grades. I have met students who are so creative and full of ideas and know what they want to accomplish in life because they weren’t caught up in getting the grades, they were more caught up in using their knowledge toward things that actually matter. Some students get caught up in doing great in school that they forget why they’re even there, it’s not just about receiving good grades, it’s about using the knowledge you have gained and doing something with it, accomplishing things, and being successful. Freewriting is really a great way to get our writing going, this chapter describes the benefits of it well.(p37-38) I also like how this chapter compares writing and not preparing it too much and not worrying about the expectations, same as sex, great analogy.(p38)
McGuire, Michael. Why White Rice?. Iowa:Kendall Hunt, 2010. Print.-
Maureen Rich
I also agree with you both. Grades should not be the deciding factor of who we are. There are several people I know that had great grades growing up and are not doing much with their life now. I also know alot of people who were class clowns and didn’t care at all about their bad grades and are out there making the big bucks now! So Patrycja, you are right about grades being overrated. It’s like you said, it’s more about what we do with that knowledge and how successful we can become with it. Linda, I have to say I am with you on appreciating learning more now as an adult and being more mature.
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Linda Seguin
“Patrycja I love this statement that you made,…I have met some not so smart people who got good grades their whole lives. I have also met many smart people who have had some of the worst grades.” One of my close friends in high school was valedictorian of the class yet can’t to this day pump gas or make a recipe if there is more than four ingrediants in it. Its called OCD, and I believe alot of overachieving students may have a touch of it. I am an excellent student now that I am more mature ( I won’t say old) . I appreciate learning and the process of education more and with my career I can easily apply much of what I learn now in college . It is pretty cool being an adult student and I love to rub it into my college boys!
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Sarah Binger
Chapter 2 of Why White Rice resonates with me more than any other information we’ve gone over yet this semester. Let me explain; My education up until fall 2011 was done my mother. I was homeschooled. While this is not terribly abnormal, I was educated unconventionally even for a homeschooler, my mother calls it “unschooling.” You see my mother does not like the idea of grades, despises them really, why learn something just to get the grade and then forget it? So Professor Mcguire’s teaching style isn’t unfamiliar to me. I was used to taking risks, learning and thinking in a way different from most. I wrote about what I loved and nothing more. However when last semester started my way of thinking changed. I am to extent a perfectionist, I like knowing I’ve done my best. And for me my best is a 4.0 grade point average. Because of this my writing became pretty methodical. Most of you have heard of the “five paragraph essay” right? I used it to death. Looking back I roll my eyes at myself, what happened to the Sarah Binger who wrote a paper on why she despised Scarlett O’hara? She was writing instead to get the grade. I was the kid who asked “Is this what you’re looking for?” of the Professors. I wasn’t, as Professor Mcguire put it, “using my boundaries.” I was instead allowing them to bind me. I am trying to loosen up however, and I think I’m getting better! I think the tools that Professor Mcguire introduced, such as freewriting, will be very helpful to get my creative juices flowing.
Mcguire, Michael “Risky Business Indeed Writing Outside Your Comfort Zone” Why White Rice? Thinking Through Writing. Kendall Hunt Publishing Company 2010 Dubuque, Iowa-
Patrycja Gola
Homeschooling sounds pretty awesome, since I believe our school system and the way the teachers teach is pretty messed up, homeschooling gives you a chance to be taught in an unconventional way that may really help you to grow in a different way. There are many creative people out there that don’t even know what they ae capable of because they were never given the chance to explore their creativity in a regular school.
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Maureen Rich
There were several funny and interesting parts in our assigned reading of Chapter 2. I had to laugh when I read what Troy Swanson wrote on page 27, “Some people will not read this because they are too overloaded with work, family and school. “ I found this to be funny because I am the opposite. I am a single parent of 3 children, working full time, as well as going to school full time. I find any possible moment to get all my assigned readings done. I have learned to read during basketball and hockey games, dance classes, music lessons, lunch breaks, any spare moment, I make use of my time. I also knew when I signed up to be a full time student not to expect to be sleeping much! I thought the most helpful section of Chapter 2 for me was 2.5.2 Revision as discovery. I have been having a tough time wondering how to revise my original work. After reading this, I realized it is because I feel like the trained pigeon! I was always taught that if you have to rewrite your paper you did not do it right the first time. As stated by Michael McGuire, “ The truth of the matter is writing is revision; there are no good writers, only good rewriters, as the old saying goes. All successful writers know this. I hope you will come to learn, believe, and practice this as well. Good writing is revision.“ This section gave me a clearer view as to what it means to revise my work. This entire section gave me a different perspective of revision as well as confidence. It made me feel better when I read that it’s OK not to know what you are doing or where you are going, that it is a good thing. I have to admit this made me anxious to get to my revisions rather than dreading them like I was.
McGuire, Michael. “Chapter 2.” Why White Rice? Thinking Through Writing. Kendall Hunt Pub, 2010.30.Print-
Linda Seguin
Good for you Maureen! What you are doing as a single mother is tough. I waited until my children where much older before I committed to going back to school. Now that I am working more ( to pay for those kids), I still find it difficult to find time for studies so revisions are a must. My work will not sense to me without stepping away at times to only come back to the work with clarity and new focus. Good luck.
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Kelly Creed
Chapter two of Why White Rice touched on some topics that I completely agree with and connected with me as a learner. While reading, “A Habit of Mind: No More Pecking For Pellets,” I made an emotional connection to the content. A question was stated, “ Has the doling out of grades to reward and/or punish your performance, your behavior, and your thinking in school conditioned you into the student, the thinker, or the person you are today? Are we all just trained pigeons?” (30) I believe that my k-12 schooling experience was a “trained pigeon” experience. I spent my time learning what each teacher expected of me as a student to earn an A in the class, and then the remainder of the school year I spent my time molding my work to meet those expectations. At a very young age we are taught that if we do our work as the teacher expects we get a good grade, if we get a good grade we pass the class, and if we pass the class we move up to the next grade level or content course. No one wants to put in work and not see a desired outcome, so we end up conforming. For me this type of behavior and learning carried on to my general education courses in college. I knew that I had to pass a certain amount of courses before I could begin my major courses. So at this time I knew what I had to do, do the work the way the teachers wanted it and pass the class to move on. Consequently, I did not learn much from this experience. I learned the material for the test or course and then quickly forgot it. It did not challenge me as a person or student. Once, I entered my major courses, I truly gave the courses my all. I tried to leave my “trained pigeon” mentality and entered the courses with an open mind and zest for learning the material. This was material I was interested in and wanted to challenge myself to better myself as a future educator. I wish that it didn’t take me so long to realize how beneficial it was for me as a person, learner, and thinker to break outside of what I was trained to do and really challenge myself. If we don’t put ourselves up to the challenge, we will never develop as a well-rounded student and person.
McGuire, Michael. “Chapter 2.” Why White Rice? Thinking Through Writing. Kendall Hunt Pub, 2010. 30. Print. -
Prof McGuire
Don’t Forget Peer Review this Week
In my lesson announcement this week, I neglected to mention our next round of peer review (although the instructions are included in the week’s materials). I just didn’t want any misunderstanding. This is a peer review week.
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Mary Zayed
what needed peer reviews?
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Prof McGuire
In response to our letters to the editor–our last major draft assignment.
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Ben Ramos
When i was reading Chapter 2 of our book, I had to stop and laugh because The section on free writing is exactly what i had done not an hour prior to reading the book. As of late I’ve had a real hard to balancing my first full time job and school at the same time, so as some of my group member’s may know, I’ve been slacking on writing some peer reviews. Sorry guys. Furthermore, i think i got my act together and will be back on the write track from here on out. I tell you all this, because when i was trying to catch up on some of the h.w i missed i got to the part about writing a letter to the editor of a paper. I had no idea what i wanted to talk about. So what i did is i started talking out loud to myself about all the things that bothered me that very day. It just so happened that one of the topics was worth talking about to the editor. I used the Free writing technique or Fast writing technique as stated in chapter 2. (pg37) After i was done reading the sentence i tried going on but couldn’t help but say Holy Sh** i just basically did that and had no idea there was a name for that. I don’t know if it is just me, but each and every chapter that i keep reading in this book just gets more and more interesting.
McGuire, Michael S. “Chapter 2.” Why White Rice? Thinking Through Writing. Kendall Hunt Pub, 2010. 37. Print. -
Linda Seguin
The basic choices that we make can all be related to applied ethics. Most of us are brought up by our parents with an ethical standard. It may or may not be religiously effected. The point of Peter Singers video was to think about our choices ( he focused mostly on our spending) and take the time to consider if you are making a positive contribution to the world by those choices. One question that he posed intrigued me. he stated, ” Can we make our academic studies more relevant to the issues of today?” Up to two years ago I had been only a working professional, taught long ago by very good facilitators and nuns. I returned to college to complete a degree and can say that YES, my instructors have incorporated worldly issues and events into my studies. Many of my courses required community involvement and education on a medical topic regarding early intervention and treatments now available. The world is moving at lightning speed and we must stay on top of ethical issues in order to insure the safety of our humanity and we must distribute help to those with the greatest need. I do believe everyone is capable to help in big or small ways , thus preserving our respect and dignity of humanity.
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Linda Seguin
WWR chapter 2 reinforced some of the keys attributes to good writting. Of course we all remember to write about something that we G.A.S., but also bring a good attitude and creativity into your writting. Professor McGuire summarized this in his statement,” it is the wrirters job to make things interesting. It is your job to get intrested, to find an angle that works for you. To make an otherwise boring subject fascinating to your reader.” Love this, I would have capitalized and bold letter the words , FIND and ANGLE. This simple step alone leads to a narrowing down of subject matter to a more concentrated goal and this leads to better organization of your paper specific to your angle. Your writting will flow much more easily and freely once you chose a direction that resonates in you. This leads directly to ownership and that leads to stability and focus of your paper which then leads to credibility. Great chapter on how to develop a creative paper. The Perry model on convictive paper development was also intriguing and I can see how an instructor could use this tool to affectively see a writters progression.
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Linda Seguin
I wanted to ellaborate on the video posted this week. Peter Singers theory of applied ethics is very thought provoking and ties perfectly into the code of ethics that I am expected to uphold as a Registered Nurse. The code of Ethics for Nurses clearly defines 9 professional obligations that must be implemented into our daily care of patients and family members. These obligations parrelles Mr. Singer in that we must not harm and we must help those in need also we must remain non-judgemental and respect individual life styles and choices.The number 1 ( of 9) code of ethics states, ” The nurse, in all professional relationships, practices with compassion and respect for the inherent dignity, worth, and uniqueness of every individual, unrestricted by considerations of social or economic status, personal attributes, or the nature of health problems.” Many times I find myself in difficult situations regarding patient care. One such instance is when I am discharging a patient home this often requires the involvement of a social worker ( a stressful and rewarding job as well ) . We are required to get intimate with the specific family dynamics in order to help eleviate stressfull situations or burdens that are not being adressed by families, in order to bridge a safe and healing environment for the patient. The patient is my ethical responsibility and with these actions and by following my code of ethics I am contributing to making the world a better place.
American Nurses Association. Code of Ethics for Nurses. Silver Springs: Nursesbooks.org, 2001. Print -
Courtney Watkins
Professor McGuire, I’m not sure if the assingment was to be posted the way we normally do. I submitted it as ready for review. Is that the correct way and is that our blog cite you are referring to ?
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Prof McGuire
Are you talking about the Letter to the Editor? If so, yes. It should have been posted as usual as “ready for review” on your course blog. After peer review this week, you can send it to the paper.
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Maureen Rich
Prof McGuire, I don’t know what is going on but I am having trouble getting my letter to post how we normally do. It keeps showing up on this page. Help!!
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Maureen Rich
I sent you an email with details, it is still not letting me type in that section at all. I tried logging out and back in again and still nothing.
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Prof McGuire
I just sent you an e-mail. Check it out. Don’t worry, we’ll get this figured out for you.
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Prof McGuire
Hunger 101
As you know, a bunch of us are going to the Greater Chicago Food Depository this Thursday. If you are going, or even if you are not, I’d like you to take a look at a couple of things that might be eye-opening. Check out the following…
- The Greater Chicago Depository Web Site
- A Video about the GCFD
- An Interactive Simulation to Understand Food Insecurity (definitely check this out)
I hope this information helps prepare you a little for this service experience.
Best,
Prof McGuire
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Prof McGuire
Lesson 7 materials are now available…
Lesson 2 materials are now available over on the Lessons Blog for you to get a head start this week. Check it out.
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Prof McGuire
Sujoud’s Elevator Speech
I am posting the following “elevator speech” on behalf of our classmate named above. Please give it a listen and offer some comments about the effectiveness (i.e. the persuasive and informative qualities). Does it adequately inform you of the issue? Does it persuade you to care about this matter? Does it communicate clearly a specific action you can take to get involved? Offer your comments below.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
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Natalie Nalepa
I have been in a mental hospital before for a week. They were good to us, and I felt safe and secure there. They really helped me. I know the free one in Tinley is closing, not sure where these people will go now. A lot of people don’t have insurance because it is ridiculously expensive. I was paying $165 a month for insurance up until now when I qualified it from work after two years of being there, and I make barely over minimum wage. This country needs to make some changes and eliminate government waste so that they can keep neccesary things, like healthcare.
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Mayra Pulido
You pointed out good points about mental institutions. It was persuasive and felt strong about people needing help and having someone there to help. Some things were hard to hear but overall what i understood was good.
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Linda Seguin
Hello Sujoud,
I agree with your perception of big city homeless people and visible mental illness. Every mental illness elicites specific physical behaviors that do effect their safety and health. Many do need intermediate nursing care so your activism speech is appreciated. This is going to be a huge growing problem in our communities. i would have loved it if you would have had time to verballize your recommendations on what we could do to help.
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Prof McGuire
Shawnette’s Elevator Speech
I am posting the following “elevator speech” on behalf of our classmate named above. Please give it a listen and offer some comments about the effectiveness (i.e. the persuasive and informative qualities). Does it adequately inform you of the issue? Does it persuade you to care about this matter? Does it communicate clearly a specific action you can take to get involved? Offer your comments below.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
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Alex Jellema
Your speech sounded just like a commercial on the radio. You get straight to the point and talk about the issue at hand. Your persuade the listener by talking about how the animals are put down, a sad situation. Finally, the listener is told how he or she can get involved in a variety of ways. A good elevator speech, straight to the point.
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Courtney Watkins
Hello Shawnette,
You did a nice job on your elevator speech. You got straight to the point by stating the issue at hand with these animals. I like how you encouraged listeners to want to adopt animals. You also gave a descent amount of information on what people can do to get involved in their community. -
Mayra Pulido
Your recording was straight to the point. I think you could have been more persuasive. You were very informative about your topic but no persuasive enough. It is sad how many dogs and cats do not have a home.
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Patrycja Gola
Your speech is very to the point, I too talked about animals in shelters. It’s a sad issue that needs to be resolved quick. I am persuaded to do something toward this matter just by someone saying go do it, hopefully many others find this issue as terrible as we do.
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Prof McGuire
Sarah’s Elevator Speech
I am posting the following “elevator speech” on behalf of our classmate named above. Please give it a listen and offer some comments about the effectiveness (i.e. the persuasive and informative qualities). Does it adequately inform you of the issue? Does it persuade you to care about this matter? Does it communicate clearly a specific action you can take to get involved? Offer your comments below.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
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Sarah Binger
Thank you everyone for their input. I can see now that I should have been more clear on how to help. I really appreciate it!
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Alex Jellema
I had no idea that human trafficking was such a big issue in the world today. You talk about many problems with human trafficking, such as statistics from around the world. It’s especially unfortunate to hear about the children that are involved with this. The only thing I missed were ways one can help, though I imagine that might be a little difficult to do. Overall, a good elevator speech.
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Iwona Ligeska
Hi Sarah,
Thank you for speaking up for those who have no voice in this world. Human traffiking seems like a forgotten problem but it does exist in the entire world. The statistics are huge. I believe we can make a difference and advocate for less fortunate people. We need to protect children and people around the world. It would be beneficial if you could give us the example what to do to help. I did not hear well from the tape.-
Iwona Ligeska
Thanks.
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Courtney Watkins
Hello Sarah,
I really enjoyed listening to your elevator speech. You did a very nice job by providing information on the issue of human trafficking. I like how you gave numeric figures to state the facts about the issue. You also provided listeners with information so they can get involved to help.
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Prof McGuire
Peter’s Elevator Speech
I am posting the following “elevator speech” on behalf of our classmate named above. Please give it a listen and offer some comments about the effectiveness (i.e. the persuasive and informative qualities). Does it adequately inform you of the issue? Does it persuade you to care about this matter? Does it communicate clearly a specific action you can take to get involved? Offer your comments below.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
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Natalie Nalepa
I had two parents the whole time and I’m still pretty messed up lol. But when I think about it, all my friends whose parents split up tended to have a lot of a rougher time keeping up with schoolwork and got deeper into drugs and alcohol as opposed to the ones whose parents did not separate.
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Courtney Watkins
Hello Peter,
I really liked how you started your speech off by mentioning something that you know will get everyone attention. I thought it was creative how you brought Whitney Houston into your topic. I do feel you could have provided some sources for listeners to be able to get involved to help out with the situation. Overall, your elevator speech was nice. -
Patrycja Gola
Deadbeat daddy’s are all over there’s no way to escape it other than don’t have a kid with a moron. I liked your speech, it conveyed an issue that I never really thought about. I have a couple girlfriends who blame the way their lives are because they never had dad’s, but I think that’s just an excuse they use. It’s definitely sad to see kids that always had just one parent, all we can really do is set up community places that can keep those kids busy and out of trouble as well as hang out with them for a day so they can see what a positive person is and hopefully they grow into positive adults.
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Prof McGuire
Patrycja’s Elevator Speech
I am posting the following “elevator speech” on behalf of our classmate named above. Please give it a listen and offer some comments about the effectiveness (i.e. the persuasive and informative qualities). Does it adequately inform you of the issue? Does it persuade you to care about this matter? Does it communicate clearly a specific action you can take to get involved? Offer your comments below.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
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Natalie Nalepa
I would never go to a pet store for an animal. They want like $700 for a dog. I used to think that maybe keeping pets inside your house is no good for the animal, that they should be outside, but then my mind completely changed when someone pointed out that they are actually happier because they are free from predators and they do not have to hunt or worry about food and shelter and having water to drink.
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Maureen Rich
Hi Patrycja, I really liked how you stated that the animals live in jail cells and they need to get out so they can be free to run around. The choice “jail cell” was a good way to portray what these animals feel like. You suggested a good idea to buy from a shelter rather than the pet store so they would have to close down. Are there any local areas you can volunteer to help these animals? I have been to the shelters and it is quite sad seeing all of them in their cells.
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Prof McGuire
Natalie’s Elevator Speech?
I am posting the following “elevator speech” on behalf of maybe Natalie? The presenter did not leave her name, so it is uncertain. Natalie, if this is yours, please claim it. Everyone else, please give it a listen and offer some comments about the effectiveness (i.e. the persuasive and informative qualities). Does it adequately inform you of the issue? Does it persuade you to care about this matter? Does it communicate clearly a specific action you can take to get involved? Offer your comments below.
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Natalie Nalepa
Yeah this is mine unfortunately…messed it up pretty bad. Brain froze.
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Iwona Ligeska
Hi Natalie,
Very detailed speech with numbers and statistics. You made a lot of research to describe all kinds of bullying and negative behavior. You also encouraged to stop that and report to authorities if possible. It’s not easy in real life but whenever we are in control we need to stop it. Be active and respect each other. Nice speech. -
Linda Seguin
Hello Natalie,
Your activism issue is bullying and you presented fresh ideas and unusual organizations that are getting involved with this negative behavior, and according to your statistics, out of control.. This behavior must stop. Thanks.
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Prof McGuire
Mayra’s Elevator Speech
I am posting the following “elevator speech” on behalf of our classmate named above. Please give it a listen and offer some comments about the effectiveness (i.e. the persuasive and informative qualities). Does it adequately inform you of the issue? Does it persuade you to care about this matter? Does it communicate clearly a specific action you can take to get involved? Offer your comments below.
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Iwona Ligeska
Hello Mayra,
I agree with your speech we do take things for granted in our life. Your immigration issue makes me aware that there are people around us who do not have a privilage to go to school or have a decent job because they are ” aliens”. They are in a free country but feel like second category people.Even worse they are treated like that. That’s not fair. People are people. Immigration status should not make them riminals. I agree we need to participate and support the change in immiration law. I liked the way you asked. Still a lot of people are not aware how discriminating current law is.Nicely done. -
Linda Seguin
Hello Mayra,
I enjoyed hearing the immagration speech in the format that you chose to communicate it in. I wanted to reply verbally to you when you asked a question with a pause. You allowed for the listener to think while you effectively persuaded people to think about the other side of immigration.
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Prof McGuire
Maureen’s Elevator Speech
I am posting the following “elevator speech” on behalf of our classmate named above. Please give it a listen and offer some comments about the effectiveness (i.e. the persuasive and informative qualities). Does it adequately inform you of the issue? Does it persuade you to care about this matter? Does it communicate clearly a specific action you can take to get involved? Offer your comments below.
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Natalie Nalepa
Like your project that you wrote for this, the speech was very good also. You really got it all summed up into the main points. I like how you started off by stating how extreme things somehow happen as a result of this, because I think that not all people realize that. They probably think that the kids that do extreme things that were bullied are probably just crazy.
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Patrycja Gola
Your speech caught my attention from the beginning, the very first few sentences were an amazing opener. I never actually thought about what a scene looked like after a child had killed himself, but now I can imagine it and it’s scary to think what goes through that child’s parents head. You really did do a great job and your speech is very persuasive, it makes me want to get out there and help in any way I can.
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Maureen Rich
Thank you Patrycja! I am glad you were persuaded by my words! My intention was to have the listener portray that horrifc scene in their mind as they were reading so they would want to do something about this issue. Thanks for listening!
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Iwona Ligeska
Maureen,
I was touched by your speech because you draw a picture in my mind of a child who commited suicide. I am a parent like you and I am glad you informed me about this problem and it’s severity. I was not really aware of that. It is terrible to lose a child becouse of children’s bullying. Like you said we can prevent children from this harm and start practicing good behavior at home. Even when siblings have argument at home we need to observe how they argue and how they treat each other. Parents need to show the example to their children and respect them so when they leave the house we can be sure that they treat others with respect. Very organized speech and plenty of resources to fight children’s bullying. Nice job.-
Maureen Rich
Thanks Iwona. Suicide is actually a very sensitive subject with me, so when I heard this statistic it really upset me with the fact that such young children resort to that and insprired me to want to do more about it. I am glad you were touched by my speech! Thanks for taking the time to listen to it!
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Kelly Creed
Maureen,
Very good speech. From the moment you began talking I was captivated and intrigued. You painted a picture in my head that I would never want to experience first hand. This was very beneficial and a smart way of portraying your message to stop bullying. You then proceeded with ways to stop bullying from a simple, listen and get involved with your children, to a local non-profit organization. It is nice to know that people are taking steps to make a change in our local area. Thank you for sharing your speech with us!-
Maureen Rich
Thanks Kelly! I am glad it captured your attention. I was hoping to have the listener paint that picture in their head so they can feel that horrible moment, so I am glad you were able to do that. Kind of ironic situation happened to me today. I work at a school and our fire alarm went off unexpectedly. Seeing it was close to dismissal, there were a lot of parents waiting and happened to see all the fire trucks and police pull up in front of the school. I was stopped numerous times by the parents asking me what was going on, with that panic in their voice. I immediatly thought of my speech! Luckily, it was a false alarm, so needless to say I was happy it didn’t have the same exact outcome of my speech!
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Linda Seguin
Maureen
Nice speech. You again succeeded in providing persuasive and informative material regarding the horrific effects of bullying in our youth. I have older children( actually they are young adults) so I was already committed to stopping bullying but with cyber technology , this issue has become a tremendous problem for children and parents alike.Thank you for the spotlight onto this issue and for the recommendations to address this problem.-
Maureen Rich
Hi Linda,
It’s great to hear that you were already committed to stopping the bullying with your own children, that’s great to hear! Not many people are truely aware how bad the cyber bullying is. Thank you for your kind words and positive review!
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Prof McGuire
Mary’s Elevator Speech
I am posting the following “elevator speech” on behalf of our classmate named above. Please give it a listen and offer some comments about the effectiveness (i.e. the persuasive and informative qualities). Does it adequately inform you of the issue? Does it persuade you to care about this matter? Does it communicate clearly a specific action you can take to get involved? Offer your comments below.
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Alex Jellema
You talked about some aspects of cyber bullying that everyone could learn from. It’s good to see that people are taking cyber bullying seriously. You also talk about why people need to get concerned about this in today’s world.
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Mayra Pulido
Mary,
You were straight forward with what your topic was and very informative. Great!!
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Prof McGuire
Magdalena or Jessica’s Elevator Speech?
I am posting the following “elevator speech” on behalf of one of our classmates named above. Please give it a listen and offer some comments about the effectiveness (i.e. the persuasive and informative qualities). Does it adequately inform you of the issue? Does it persuade you to care about this matter? Does it communicate clearly a specific action you can take to get involved? Offer your comments below.
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Jessica Konstant
This was my elevator speech. Sorry about not saying my name.
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Prof McGuire
Linda’s Elevator Speech
I am posting the following “elevator speech” on behalf of our classmate named above. Please give it a listen and offer some comments about the effectiveness (i.e. the persuasive and informative qualities). Does it adequately inform you of the issue? Does it persuade you to care about this matter? Does it communicate clearly a specific action you can take to get involved? Offer your comments below.
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Natalie Nalepa
I feel like such a big dummy sitting here listening to this with a pack of cigarettes in front of me. Need to stop. My dad stopped a few days ago, he’s using the lozenges. He was really bad the first day, really angry, but now he seems fine. He actually seems calmer and it seems like he has more energy. Looked for a nicotine anonymous meeting in my area, couldn’t find one.
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Alex Jellema
As you said, smoking is a terrible thing that needs to be gotten rid of in our world. It does nothing but harm people and our planet. You talked about the most important problems concerning smoking and really get people to want to stop smoking if they already are, or to make sure they never pick it up. Great speech and keep passing on the word.
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Kelly Creed
Linda,
Very good speech. Your speech was very informative. The statistics that were used shed a light on how addictive smoking is and how it could affect a person and their life expectancy. You also provided great ways at how to stop the addiction and the resources surrounding us that also offer help. I do not smoke, but you were very persuasive and informative so if I knew someone who did smoke, I could offer them with concrete material to get them to stop and I would know the steps to take to get help. I would not want to lose anyone I know to this addicting and destructive behavior.-
Linda Seguin
Thank you Kelly for the positive feedback. this is a topic that gets me emotionally charged because my fatrher and father-in-law both passed from primary lung Cancer. Pass on the info to anyone you care about that smokes. Have a good night.
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Maureen Rich
Hi Linda,
Great job on your speech! You did excellent on hitting many areas here to be persuasive and informative. I have heard how addicting smoking is but I did not know that it was as addictive as heroin or cocaine. You targeted all the aspects here with the positives and negatives to make people really think. I like how you started with how it is the hardest addiction, to what it does to you and then elaborated on how quitting will effect you for the positive reinforcement. You provided very helpful resources for anyone to reach out.-
Linda Seguin
Thanks Maureen! I was hoping that it would be very persuasive. I know that the reality of the addiction and the withdrawal that people must endure can be overwelming but I did not intend to scare anyone away from attempting to q
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Linda Seguin
sorry hit the wrong key. As I was saying , quit smoking. Thanks
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Prof McGuire
Kenyatta’s Elevator Speech
I am posting the following “elevator speech” on behalf of our classmate named above. Please give it a listen and offer some comments about the effectiveness (i.e. the persuasive and informative qualities). Does it adequately inform you of the issue? Does it persuade you to care about this matter? Does it communicate clearly a specific action you can take to get involved? Offer your comments below.
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Maureen Rich
Hi Kenyatta, I really enjoyed listening to your speech. This is a tremendous issue in our society that is effecting everyone. Your choice of descriptive words were very powerful and persuasive. The expression and tone you used really captured my attention and kept me intrigued. I also did mine on bullying so I was really anxious to hear someone else’s enthusiam on stopping this issue as well.
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Iwona Ligeska
I really enjoyed your speech and you really convinced me that bullying is a big problem in our society.
Your speech was great to listen to. Great job! -
Eric Wisch
I can’t help buy say “fricken awesome” I just find your voice, and the way you speak to permeate, and just flow through my ears. I just wanted to listen to you read me a novel. I think you brought up good points, these bullies are cowards, and taking care of this issue is a big one. Most of the times the kids doing the bullying are the ones with the real issues. Good joB!
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Iwona Ligeska
Kenyatta,
I can see you are very concerned about cyber bullying in our society. Like you said it affects everyone in our community and we need to ” spread the word” to stop it. You adequately described the danger of bullying. The results are horryfying and can include suicide. You clearly described the different ways of cyber bullying and effects. Your speech makes me aware to pay attention to my children and to see how they behave in school and how they respect each other. Your actions are clearly indicated and we should watch how people behave and discourage them from bullying.
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Maureen Rich 11:56 pm on February 29, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I can relate with you Jessica on struggling with raising my hand or answering in fear that I am wrong! It is very true that it could make for a new idea or different view point. I always try to encourage my own kids to raise their hands even if they feel they may be wrong. I tell them it’s OK to be wrong because when you are, you tend to remember that the most, because you don’t want to make the same mistake twice! At least that is how I see it. We learn from our own mistakes and those mistakes stick with us the most so we don’t make them again! Anyway, I think that confidence is something I need to work on as well.